247) Capitol Hill Loop (1/5) — To celebrate the start of a new month, I’m going to take you on a special adventure! My map showed me a set of five mailboxes that were in a very convenient loop, so I decided to visit all of them one afternoon and create a thrilling five-part series for you! The first one is outside the regally named Sir Galahad apartments. The box itself was not very regal, in fact it was kind of boring. Oh sure, nice enough, but it didn’t really live up to the pageantry of being next to something like the Sir Galahad.

246) Positioned right across the street from the long-running Chop Suey club, I’m sure this box has seen a thing or two over the years. Drunken escapades, belligerent party-goers, boisterous scalawags… it must be quite a show. Try as I might, however, I couldn’t get the box to tell any stories. He just muttered “I’ve seen things, man… I’ve seen things…” and then totally withdrew.

245) In case you can’t tell, this mailbox is very upset. Why? Just look at the design of the building in the background… do those rounded rooftops remind you of anything? Personally, I think it’s probably just a coincidence, but the box maintains that the builders totally ripped off his design, without any credit or compensation. He says he’s planning a legal response, but that he just needs to find a lawyer that will take the case pro bono. Good luck with that.

243) Why am I standing all tilted like that? The camera caught me as I was restlessly shifting back and forth, as I had been waiting there for over three hours. The box kept insisting that I stay because “there’s someone I really want you to meet… he’ll be here any moment.” Needless to say, that person never showed up and I never did figure out what con the box was running.

242) I’m just going to come right out and say it — this is probably the most boring mailbox photo so far in this entire series. Really, look at it. A drab wall, a lifeless shirt, and a totally aloof attitude from the box itself. I’m really sorry about this… you deserve so much better.

241) Me: “Hey, box.”

Box: “Hey.”

Me: “Mind if I just hang out here for a while.”

Box: “That’s cool”(an uncomfortable amount of time passes)

Box: “So… you have any paint remover?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Box: “Get away from me.”

240) This box tricked me. I asked it if there were any comfortable seating options nearby, and it flat-out told me “no.” That explains why it was snickering so much while I took the photo.

239) Hello, and welcome to my “Limited Tour of Pioneer Square Mailboxes.” Our tour begins with this fine double-wide box located at the heart of Pioneer Square, First and Yesler. And this concludes our tour. I hope you enjoyed “Limited Tour of Pioneer Square Mailboxes,” and please leave us a five-star review on Yelp.

238) Look at this messy sidewalk. In most parts of the city, these few scattered leaves would hardly be noticed, but that’s not the case in Madison Park, an area that prides itself on cleanliness. You can be assured that this mailbox has already notified the proper authorities and the trees responsible for this mess have been dealt with. Severely.

237) If it looks like things are a bit tense between me and this box, you’re right. I’m there with my Ramones t-shirt, and the box turned out to be a die-hard Misfits fan. That sort of thing doesn’t matter to me, but it sure mattered to the box. I got out of there fast.